in silence

i jus realised something... when i laugh, i always laugh very loudly... but when i cry, i always cry in silence... there is actually very few times when i actually cried out loud... probably the time when my grandma passed away... other than tt, i dun quite rem... oh yeah, there's also once when i quarrelled with someone... dun really cry out loud cuz it dun sound nice... really... it feels weird...

when laughing out loud, the sound of happiness can spread to others... it feels good... but when crying out loud, seemed like spreading the sadness around... i still prefer to cry in silence... and my favourite place is my bed... always facing the wall, closing my eyes and allowing my sadness to flow away with the tears... unfortunately, i would wet my pillow, blanket and bedsheet... so ppl, u know where not to touch when u come to my room? hahaha and also ONE of my soft toys... the most famous "yuanyuan"... :) yuanyuan is my support...

*why am i toking abt this? hahaha just feel like writing it down... =)

ice cream

i walked on the street, i saw all the children happily eating ice cream...

i am the only one without ice cream...

i could not do anything but hide under my bedsheets and cry... :'(

(untitled)

last nite i was very tired... bcuz i went out walking for almost 2 hours before meeting his fren to get his stuffs... its was very fun though... i din know tampines is so that near to pasir ris... i mean, walkable distance from my hse... the canal at pasir ris does resemble tt of a river... provided u dun see the murkiness and rubbish in it... as the lights fall onto the surface and reflecting into our eyes, the wind slowly blows in the direction from pasir ris to tampines... its actually quite nice... even a fallen leaf on the water looks like a struggling turtle by the side of a canal... a beautiful or otherwise dumb misunderstanding... haha a coconut was found to be able to float in the canal... i hope it grows into a tree...

when i came home to realise that my laptop was in distress again... i was very sian, mostly cuz of my tiredness... when i called for the help, i was nearly falling aslp... of cuz it din help much with me in the daze state... watever, maybe i shld jus leave everything alone.

誰か

誰かのお姫さまになりたかった

誰かに守ってくれるが欲しかった

いつか悲しいことがなくなっていくだろう

いつか昔々の幸せが感じられるだろう

教えてくれないの？

managing emotional pains

sometimes, we do feel like we are at the bottom of the valley... we will have difficulty having to crawl out of it... even the most optimisitc person needs to find a way in order to wriggle out of the unhappiness... so wat u do?

most imptly, is to find a way to vent out the frustration... this is very impt... cuz we are just like a plastic bag... unhappiness is like water... if we try to fill ourselves up, one day, we might find ourselves bursting and exploding like water bombs...

some ppl like to vent it out on eating... but binge eating is definitely not the way out... so bad for health... so bad for size... later when become very very fat le den regret... jiu lai bu ji le... some ppl like to vent it out by going shopping... but end up buying so much unnecessary things... wasting money... even though it wld boost the economy... or you can try my method? hahaha i like to cry alot... but but... better make sure tt u can feel better after crying... make sure tt u can smile and laugh happier after crying... if not, this crying wld not be effective and u wld only waste ur tears... like me?

now ar... i washed out the med with my tears... my left eye is much redder and swollen and my right eye is as red and as swollen as my left eye... balance liaoz lor... hahaha

i need better ventilation

over the past two months, my skin has become more oily and dirty than it used to be... i believed its becuz of the poor ventilation at my workplace... which my colleagues also agreed... just imagine if i use a slightly stronger flavour, and my lab gotta smell of chicken for days... yeah, you dun have to walk into the lab to know wat i am doing? just stand at the doorway... the worst experience is, you stand at the corridor of the application labs and you realised tat the beef flavour is so strong tat you cant smell the sweet smelling "sweet goods lab"... ppl tell me my lab is smelly but i dont think so? cuz i am so so used to tat smell... its nth to me, seriously... i have been trained to smell very disgusting smell le... but there's some i cant really stand... like "beef rare", "boiled chicken", "beef livery"... and anything tat u smell n would suggest something bloody...

but i am digressing again??? yaya, abt my poor skin... occassional minor breakouts are happening to my face... :| so i gotta be a more hardworking person to wash my face in the morning and at night... no choice? i dun wan soya sauce powder or ground black pepper to stick on my face and irritate my skin... so bad... :( my skin really dun feel nice le... oh, and guess wat happened to my arms? i am having rashes on my arms... dunno whether issit taking in too much msg or wat? i wun be able to find out wat is causing the skin irritation cuz i am doing so many flavour blends everyday...

btw, i went hospital today and found that those growing on my right foot are not becuz of viral infection... its just corns... -_-" must be becuz of my shoes... haiz... and the rashes on my back... keratosis pilaris... tats wat i have... not easy to heal plus i am so lazy... suan le? i can live with it... at least its nth harmful to health... :) ok, gotta end here...